Finally Getting Back to Blogging...

The House is finally on the market, and I think we have all had enough time now (3 weeks) to get used to our new routines to keep the house spotless and organized while we try to sell it. By the way, we have officially been on the market for 23 days now, and we haven't had a single showing. Yes - this is frustrating, but we are all just trying to enjoy having an immaculately clean house for a change...

Kristi and Melanie came over this past weekend for lunch, and they both commented on what a large study we have. Before, it was the designated storage/junk room in the house, and you could barely get to the desk. So, we have made several changes in the house to say the least.

As part of getting the house ready to sell, our realtor Jenny Carroll (who is great, by the way) suggested that we place a park bench in our back yard with a plant next to it so there would be something nice to look at from the windows in our Master Bedroom. So, Michael and Jack enjoyed a Saturday afternoon doing "guy stuff" and building the bench together. Jack was actually a big help to Michael, and as you can see, he was more than happy to get down on the ground and tighten all the bolts holding the bench together.

Jack is really such a big boy now - Michael and I were looking at him from across the room this past weekend, and Michael noticed how long Jack's neck has grown. There is really nothing left of our round-faced baby boy anymore - he is all long, lean limbs and you can see the beginning of the angles in his face, especially around his jawline. It makes me sad to think about how fast he is growing up - it is a good thing that we have another baby boy on the way!

A Day at the Park

Jack LOVES to go the park - anywhere that he can swing, slide, climb and most importantly - RUN!!!! I think the hotter it gets, the more he wants to be outside. He is so unlike his Mommy in that way. On our last trip to the park, Jack was very proud of his newest achievement - he can now climb all the way up the curvy slide in addition to sliding down. Here is a picture of Jack at the top of the summit:

Jack also had a good time practicing his super hero flying form on the swings:

Little sister Abby also got in on the action - she really likes to swing at the park, especially when Big Brother Jack is swinging next to her. She just giggles and giggles!

Abby also took some time to hang out in the swing and check out the progress on her new teeth. Seriously, the child is 13 months old, and she still only has 4 teeth! Jack had 4 teeth when he was 4 months old!!! Bless her heart, she is constantly teething, and Dr. Harper has warned us that she is likely to cut several teeth all at one time. But don't worry Little Abby - we have plenty of teething tablets, Anbesol and Tylenol ready when you need them!

Here she is running her tongue across her top gums, feeling her new little teeth as they try to break through:

Abby says "I am WAY too cute!"

The Child Formerly Known as #3

We had a lot of time in the car on our way to Kentucky, and while we were driving, Michael and I re-started our work on names for #3. We had settled on (or Michael had capitulated to) Noah as the first name a few weeks ago, but the long road trip finally gave us the inspiration and time we needed to decide upon the middle name. I am sure that it helped to have a professional psychologist (my sister Rebecca) in the car with us! Now that we have a name, I can finally share pictures of...

Noah Christopher

These pictures were taken way back on May 8, but it has taken me this long to get Michael to transfer them to our Picasa albums so that I could post them here. It will be nice when he knows about our blog and he can post pictures himself - of course, I could just learn how to do this for myself, but that would be too easy...

For those of you who have been keeping the blog a secret, your wait is almost over! Michael will open the blog tomorrow for the first time while Jack and Abby are still with us before they leave to spend the next week with their grandparents - Hooray!

Noah's profile

Noah's Hands

Noah's Toes

Noah and I will go to the doctor again tomorrow to see whether he has continued to grow like crazy. We will also go ahead and schedule our delivery for Thursday, September 18 - mark your calendars!

Abby's First Modeling Job...

Abby's Aunt Brooke (Uncle Brian's future wife) has a talented friend with a baby business. She makes bedding and all kinds of baby items, and she needed a baby for some photos to promote her shopping cart cover. Uncle Brian and Aunt Brooke took Abby for her first official photo shoot at the local Randall's supermarket, and here are the very cute results:

Her little smile in this first one just kills me! I just can't believe how grown up she is looking in her face. There is still a lot of baby there, but to me, it looks like she knows she is having her picture made for an ad and her look says "OK - I am ready for my photo now!"

This is more like the Abby I see all the time - squinting in the sun with her scrunchy-faced smile!!! We will let you know if any of Abby's photos are published anywhere in print or on-line. I have resisted doing this for a long time, but I have decided that maybe I should let the kids do a little "modeling" when the opportunities come along. I would hate to deprive them of the chance to save for their own college educations - Ha Ha!

Catch Up!!!

I can't believe it has been over one week since my last post! The last week has been more eventful than I would have liked, but everything has worked out for the best. At the time of my last post, I was getting ready to head to Chicago for a seminar (read: lots of downtime and me-time for mommy, shopping, nice hotel, good restaurants, no stress). There were several storms in the Chicago area that repeatedly delayed my flight. While I was waiting in the airport, I received a call from my mom to let me know that my grandfather, Papa Green, had passed away after suffering a number of setbacks following a fall in April. So, the usually annoying flight delays turned out to be a blessing in disguise - I was able to cancel all my travel plans and Continental even sent someone to retrieve my bag from the plane so that I could take it home with me rather than having to wait for it to be delivered to my house the next day.

We went to Beaumont the next day (Wednesday) to be with my parents and to "help" with whatever we could. I don't know that we really helped that much, but it did give us an excuse to take Jack and Abby to see Nana and Grand Dad and give them a little break from their funeral and travel preparations. We were back in Kingwood Thursday - Michael went in to his office, and I spent the day getting ready for the 12 hour car ride to Kentucky. (I thought I would also be able to make some progress in the house - HA!) My sister, Rebecca, came over on Thursday night, and we all went to bed early to get ready for our 3AM departure in the Armada. Meemaw and Gramps were also a huge help to us - Abby and Jack spent Thursday night through Sunday with them. We were really worried about having to keep them in the car for 24 hours in a span of only three days!

We made it to Kentucky in record time - 11 hours! Rebecca and I had plenty of time to talk and catch up in the car. I had stocked the car with magazines and a picnic cooler - so we were entertained and we didn't have to stop for meals along the way. I am really getting tired of fast food, so it was nice to have our own food with us for the trip, and I think we saved at least 30 minutes my bot stopping for meals. The visitation time on Friday night was very nice - It was really amazing to see all the flowers that had been sent for Papa Green and all the family and friends who came to pay their respects. Papa Green and Mama Green were always working at something, and everyone seemed to have a story about something Papa Green had built or fixed, or the 100s of pounds of pecans he cracked and picked, or any one of the many wonderful vegetables he grew in his huge garden, or the fish fries hosted at the house following a good day fishing in his catfish ponds...the list could go on and on. The funeral the next day was also very nice, and Rev. McKinney offered several wonderful remembrances of his own from the time that he served as Mama Green and Papa Green's pastor.

Following the graveside burial service, the members of Shiloh United Methodist Church served a huge and delicious lunch, complete with bar-b-que, home grown and home made side dishes, and a limitless supply of desserts. It was probably the best meal I had eaten in weeks! We changed into our jeans and boots at the Church and went out to Mama Green and Papa Green's old farm to check on the land and see how the trees were doing. After they moved to Texas four years ago, Mama Green and Papa Green sold their Kentucky home but they kept a large portion of their land. To protect the land and provide some additional income for my grandparents, Dad has put the land into a wetlands reclamation and reforestation program, and it is really amazing to see how different the land looks now that trees are growing on it and the grass is tall. Here are a few pictures from our hike:

Thanks to all of you who have remembered us, and especially my parents and grandmother, in your prayers. Please continue your prayers for comfort for my dad, mom and Mama Green.

Making Progress

I think that we are about to fall over from sleep deprivation, but we are making some real progress in the house. We are still getting everything cleared out to get the new carpeting in, but we are going to officially list the house on June 12. Hopefully, buyers will find photos like these appealing:

Vincent did a great job on the painting in our Master bedroom - let me know if you want his number! I have to say that organizing the bookcase was a major achievement, and I am pretty proud of how it turned out. We still have lots of books, even after I took several dozen to Half Price Books, and Jack and Abby have a ton of books of their own. But Jack is an avid pre-reader, so I think we will hang on to what we have for now. Overall, things are getting better, and I think we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel - but we still have a lot to do.

One nice thing about this whole process is the fact that you are forced to go through all your stuff and think about what you really need, and wonder why youhave hung on to some things for so long. After going through our closets, this is just a portion of what we have found that needs to be given away to someone else:

Just to give you some perspective, you are looking at 9 piles of clothes, each of which is about 20-24" tall. Sadly, almost all of that came out of my closet. Some of the shirts have been with me since high school. That means I have been moving them around with me for over 14 years. I can't even tell you when I last wore most of these things. It was just easier to pack them up and take them along, and then allow them to sit in my closet for the last 6 years. Please don't let this happen to you!!! I used to dread going into my closet because there was no room and I couldn't EVER find what I needed. Now, I can actually see what I have, and I will wear most of what is left in my closet (of course, I am hanging on to a few of my nicer things in much smaller sizes, in the hope that I will one day return to my pre-babies figure). Plus, I am sure there is someone else out there who needs these things, and will use them. So, this whole moving thing is not going to be so bad after all!

Jack's Prayer

I missed out on dinner time with the kids last night, and Michael just sent me this email with a description of what happened at our dinner table with Jack and Abby while I was away:



Last night, we were getting ready to bless our food, and Jack said “Daddy, can we thank God first and then say “God is great”? Of course, I said yes, and he proceeded to say “Thank you God for Abby, thank you God for Mommy, thank you God for Daddy, thank you God for our food, and thank you God for my pirate fork.” And then he went straight into “God is great…” I just about fell out of my chair in shock because he was so serious about it.

Then, I got up to get him some milk, and when I turned around he was out of his chair giving Abby a kiss, and before I said anything, he climbed back in his chair, and said “Daddy, here’s a kiss for you too”, blew me a kiss, and then blew you a kiss. THEN, he said “Daddy, I’m gonna give God a kiss too”, kissed his hand, raised it up high, and said “here’s a kiss for you too, God”. Amazing. I was just amazed.



See, Michael is blogging already - he just doesn't know it yet!

Jack's Last Day - KIA "Gymtastics"

Yesertday was Jack's final day in his Kids in Action "Gymtastics" Class before summer starts. All the parents were invited to attend and participate (a little scary). Jack did a great job in his class, and he even managed to help one of the other little boys in his rotation group. Jack's favorite skills are the rings, working on the balance beam, and tumbling. He does a really good forward roll now, and he was rolling all over the place at KIA. This is a picture of Jack doing his favorite "Spider Man" move:

He has also perfected his climbing skills - this was one of the only places where I could get him to be still enough for a photo:

At the end of the class, we all joined our little gymnasts in doing the Kids in Action Dance. Jack has been practicing this dance at home for a couple of weeks now, and I'll have to get him to perform for the video camera so we can post some video of the dance. However, I will spare you the pain of watching Mommy attempt the dance with Jack! After the dance was over, Jack's name was called for one final forward roll before he received his certificate and his medal:

He is very proud of his #1 medal - Yeah Jack!

Big-Time "God Thing" Moment

Last night was a terrific night of celebration and new beginnings. Michael and I attended the Ordination & Commissioning Service lead by Bishop Janice Riggle Huie during the Texas Annual Conference held at The Woodlands UMC (Thank you AUNT ERIN for babysitting!). Many people from KUMC attended to witness and celebrate the Commissioning of our associate pastor, Patrick Evans. I can only imagine that the service was particularly special for Patrick, because he and his family attended The Woodlands UMC before he started his journey into ministry. I basically cried my way through the whole service. Thank you, pregnancy hormones!

At the end of the service, Bishop Huie did something that our senior pastor Rev. Joe Fort said was a new thing that he had not seen done before. It has been a long time since Michael and I attended one of these services, so we will go with Joe on that one. Anyway, at the end of the service, Bishop Huie asked for all those who had recently been called into ministry to come to the altar to receive prayer for their calling and for their future ministry in the Church. Michael left our perch at the top of the balcony and went down to the altar, where he was met by our previous pastor from Memorial Drive UMC, Rev. Chuck Simmons, as well as our current pastors at Kingwood UMC. I am not sure that ANYONE knew that Bishop Huie was going to add this element to the service, and it was very powerful for Michael and me.

Here is a picture of Michael at the altar rail that was snapped by one of the Conference photographers. I almost cried again when I saw this on the Conference website because I wasn't able to get a good picture last night:

Thankfully, there were several other pastors there to take people's information and make sure that everyone at the altar was aware of the upcoming Candidacy Conference in August. Before last night, we had no idea that Michael needed to complete his Candidacy Application by TOMORROW in order to participate in the conference this August. Joe went immediately into action, and he was amazing - he helped us negotiate our way through the huge crowd to find our District Superintendent, Jack Shelton. Rev. Shelton was very gracious, and he just asked that Michael send him an email to confirm Michael's belief that he had received a calling and expressing his interest in the Candidacy program. Rev. Shelton even agreed to work with his assistant to ensure that Michael's application could be sent in without the necessary signatures.

So, the God Thing: If we hadn't gone to the service last night, and Bishop Huie hadn't closed the service in the way that she did, and if all those people had not been there to help Michael at the altar and after the service, Michael never would have found out about this deadline, and he would have tacked on about one year's worth of delay in the Candidacy process, because the Candidacy Conference is only held once each year when a new Candidacy class is formed. As soon as we got home, Michael sent his email to Rev. Shelton, and while he was doing that, we received today's Upper Room Email Devotional, which contained a reflection on I Samuel 3: 1-10 - the very same passage that Michael came across during his Walk to Emmaus that helped Michael hear and comprehend his calling. I do not believe that any of this is just a coincidence. I believe that God is continuing to confirm the path he has set for Michael, and we will continue to watch and listen for other messages from Him indicating what we should do next.

Please continue to keep Michael in your prayers. I will post more about his calling and his status in the process when we know what happens with his Candidacy Application. If you would like to read more about last night's service, you can follow the link below. And by the way, if you haven't heard Bishop Huie speak, please find time to do so when you can. Her message last night was inspiring and challenging, and she is very gifted in proclaiming God's word.

http://www.txcumc.org/news_detail.asp?PKValue=632

Here a Hanger, There a Hanger, Everywhere a Hanger!

These pictures are really out of focus, so please excuse the bad photography. It is hard to capture Abby in motion with my camera phone, but I wanted to share with you some of our Memorial Day weekend. While Jack was with Meemaw and Gramps at the Casino in Lake Charles, Michael and I stayed home with Abby and continued to work in our room to clean out 6 years worth of accumulation from our closets - YIKES! As we reclaimed hangers, Abby had a lot of fun "helping" her Daddy get them organized to go back in a box:She also enjoyed the bag full of hotel shampoos, soaps, etc. that will go to the Seafarers' Center in Beaumont. I am not that worried about Abby having to go without her toys while we have the house on the market - she removed bottles from the bag, shook them up to see whether each bottle made a noise, put them in another bag, and then repeated the process over and over again. We still have a little bit left to do in our room, but we also made some big headway in Jack's room while he was away. Thanks to Meemaw and Gramps, the removal and reorganization of toys over the weekend was a non-event, and Jack was pretty happy with the end result. He even got to help Michael take down the train table after he got back home - Jack thought Michael's drill was "amazing."

We then spent the afternoon of Memorial Day with friends, and enjoyed some time in the pool with Abby and Jack. I will update this post later with some other pictures from the weekend, including some of Michael and Abby at Brooke's graduation party, where Abby was fascinated with the grass...I just realized that most of the pictures of our children on this blog feature them in nothing more than their underwear or diaper. Hmmm. It just became really important to put up some more pictures of clothed children, so that we can actually remember that Jack and Abby did have clothing, and that they wore it, on occasion.

Getting Ready to Move

Now that we have decided to put our house on the market, we finally painted our master bedroom and bath. Those of you who were fortunate enough to visit our Master in the past know that for over two years I have struggled to find the right shade of blue or gray for the room. As a result, we lived with several large squares of different paint colors on the walls for a VERY long time. Not the best look for showing the house to prospective buyers! We never found the right color, so we have chosen a very marketable shade from Sherwin Williams - Bungalow Beige. It actually has turned out very nicely, but the fumes are really too much for me to bear right now. Yuck!

While our bedroom is deconstructed, we are going to start the process of staging our house for the real estate market. I have discovered that this means packing up at least 50% of what is currently in our house and storing it away while our house is on the market. This includes the vast majority of the children's toys, which we will store at Grandaddy's house to allow Jack and Abby "visitation" time with their favorite play things. I need to just embrace this process and welcome the opportunity to de-clutter our lives, but frankly, I am feeling totally overwhelmed by the prospects of getting our house ready to show and keeping it that way. Oh well, new carpeting is next on the list, and that should generate lots of great pictures as we move every piece of furntiture in our house! Hooray!

For those of you who may be wondering why we would EVER choose to list our house in the current market, here is the brief explanation: We are preparing to make some major life changes as Michael follows his calling into the ministry. We are not sure right now where his calling will lead our family, or even where he will attend Seminary. So, our short term goal is to move into a smaller house that will allow us the freedom to exponentially increase our savings while also positioning us to to sell and move quickly a second time when it is time for Michael to attend school full time.

After your husband announces that he has been called into ministry, you hear all sorts of stories. Some good, some great, some funny, and some sad, but all relating to things that happened along the way that either confirmed or undermined someone's confidence in their calling. I have had several people share with me stories of families they knew who started doing exactly what Michael and I are doing now: exploring schools, selling homes, rethinking careers, etc. Certainly, there have been some key things to indicate to both of us that Michael's confidence in his calling is well-placed, and that this is the path God has set out for us to follow. So, I am overly anxious about selling the house, because I keep hearing these stories from other folks about people who put their house on the market and sold in 2 days, or 1 week as they prepared to go to seminary, almost as another sign from God that this was His plan. If that happens for us, GREAT! But if not, and our house lingers on the market for months like so many others in our neighborhood right now, I know it will inject some doubt into our current thinking. Please pray for us, and me in particular, that I will continue to seek God's will for Michael and our family, and that I will get some discipline to enable me to take things as they come, especially regarding the whole house thing. This is a very exciting time for our family, and I just need to focus on taking it one step at a time. For those who know me well, you know that is a very hard thing for me to do!

Confessions of a Bad Blogger

I just got back from an annual trip to Washington DC for an industry conference, and I really missed Jack and Abby while I was gone. I have to say, this is probably the first trip I have been on in years (since Jack was a baby) that I actually got homesick. I asked Michael to send me photos of the kids while I was away, and I have included two of the pictures he sent to cheer me up. The picture of Abby really shocked me, because her face looks so much less baby-ish than the face I carry in my heart when I leave home.

I meant to post a few things while I was out of town, but the hotel's wireless and ethernet networks were basically non-functional in my room, and I left my air card in the office. Silly me! So, I am trying to get caught up today. While this blog is for all of our family and friends, I am also using it to document some of the things Michael and I will want to remember. Lucky for Michael, Abby has been sick a lot more than usual lately, so he has been staying at home with her while I have been out of town. Our timing always seems to work out that way - I leave town, and one of the kids gets sick. Michael always takes it very well when this happens, and he keeps me updated on how Abby or Jack is doing by email. Here are some excerpts from recent emails that Michael has sent while he has spent time at home with Abby:

I almost just cried. I was sitting on the floor talking to Julie (at the office) and watching Abby play, and she started looking a little sleepy while she was playing with the box of blocks. She plopped down, crawled over to me, pulled herself up on my shirt and put her head on my shoulder. It was the sweetest thing I think I’ve ever seen in my whole life!

Abby is extra snuggly when she is sick...this is not so bad.

I wanted to include these little remembrances in our blog, because one day, it may not be so easy to remember what a sweet little girl Abby was at 1. Also, I am so blessed to have a husband like Michael who is a full partner in all of our parenting responsibilities. He never complains about staying at home with the kids if I need to go into the office, and since I started travelling, I know he has logged way more sick kid time than I have. Here's to Michael - Super Dad!

Jack in the Box Puppet Show

As promised, here is the video of the Jack in the Box Puppet Show, starring Jack. This clip is missing Abby, who had to go to bed before taping. I will put up another video of Abby watching her brother and giggling as soon asI can get them "performing" together.

Jack the Gymnast

Here is Jack, the one and only, showing off his newest talent - the Forward Roll (with jump). If you find his underwear attire a little disturbing, you have our most sincere apologies. He seems to be entering the "it's fun to be naked" phase. More to come on that one...

Big Slide and Big Baby?

For those of you who don't yet know, we are expecting a baby brother for Jack and Abby sometime in September. We think the due date is September 29, however, all of our measurements seem to be off this time around. Baby #3 may be a tad larger than his older siblings - our wonderful OB, Dr. Anding, was a little surprised to see that we measured 5 weeks ahead of schedule yesterday. This is a little odd, because I measured exactly where I should have throughout both pregnancies with Jack and Abby. Even though this is #3 for me, I also seem to be carrying him higher than either Jack or Abby, which would explain why at 20 weeks I am already experiencing some discomfort, heartburn and other fun pregnancy symptoms much earlier than I am used to. Of course, this may also be due to the fact that I am just getting older and more grouchy:)

I also wanted to go ahead and post some fun pictures of Jack from his school carnival at Pines Montessori last week. He loved the Moon Walks and other inflatable toys, and he has really gotten big enough to climb around, up, over and through everything. The pictures above are from the extra large inflatable slide that Jack climbed up and slid down for about 40 minutes without stopping in the 96 degree heat. He was a very sweaty little boy when he finally gave up and moved on to the obstacle course.

Jack a/k/a/ "An Endless Supply of Blog Content"

I think that Jack must know that his mommy is getting ready to blog about our family life, because yesterday he said or did several things that must be documented and shared. So, thank you Jack, for providing some great material to include in our first real blog entry!

We were getting ready for the good ol' work/school shuffle yesterday morning, and running more than a little late as usual. When I announced to Jack that I thought we were going to be late to school that morning, he actually said "Mommy, it's OK. Don't give up!" Of course, this blew me away - I am not even sure where he picked up the encouraging phrase. Wouldn't you know it, Abby woke up 5 minutes later with a clear case of pink eye. Translation: I could now stop worrying about getting myself ready for work, we got everyone else in the car, and lo and behold: Jack was on time to school!

After a more than eventful day at home with Abby and a doctor's visit to confirm my astute pink eye diagnosis, Jack and Daddy finally got home from their long day away from home at school and work. I had managed to squeeze in a fair amount of work while Abby napped during the day, and she and I managed a very peaceful and productive trip to the grocery store (note: why is canned corn now 66 cents per can?? Oh yeah, biofuels - but that is a topic for another blog entry!) Before dinner Jack entertained us with a puppet show, featuring Jack as the main puppet character in a production entitled "Jack in the Box". We have a king size four poster bed with a canopy, and it actually makes a wonderful "puppet theater" - something we never considered when we bought our bedroom suit. Anyway, the show basically goes like this: Jack in the Box jumps up - Jack in the Box jumps down - Jack in the Box turns all around - Jack in the Box falls on the ground, with Jack saying the lines and acting out the appropriate actions with great enthusiasm. Of course, the recollection of the puppet show is not complete without mentioning Abby's hysterical laughter after each line of the play! She loves to watch her brother being silly, and she laughed and clapped the whole way through several repetitions of the puppet show. It was really the happiest that she had been all day long. Again, thank goodness for big brother Jack.

Michael promised Jack that he would be the puppet after dinner if Jack ate well and behaved at the table (clearly, we believe a little bribery never hurt anyone, so long as public officials are not involved!). Of course, during dinner, our angelic Jack decided to talk back to Michael and stick out his tongue for good measure. Not a smooth move - Jack lost all privileges for the rest of the night, including Michael's promised puppet performance. Michael was now really disappointed that he would have to wait another night to be a puppet. Jack apologized to Michael, but that was not going to be enough to reverse the consequences of his actions. I did not want to contradict Michael's decision, but I wanted to see if I could help Jack find a way to earn the privilege back. All I did was suggest to Jack that maybe he could do something really nice for Daddy, and out of no where, Jack said "Mommy, I can go and pick up my toys - they are very messy. Daddy would like that." And, off he went to pick up all of his toys and straighten his play area in our family room. Michael and I were both shocked that Jack came up with this all on his own. I pitched in to help him pick up, and after he was finished, Jack apologized to Michael again and asked him to come and look at all the toys he had picked up. Needless to say, we found a win-win for everyone, and Daddy got to be a puppet after all.

For my next post, I am going to try to put up some video of Jack in the "Jack in the Box" puppet show, assuming I can get him to repeat his stellar performance. It is way too cute, especially with all of Abby's laughter included!

Thanks for patiently reading this long initial post. For those of you who know Michael, please do not mention this blog to him until after Father's Day. I am starting this family blog as part of our Father's Day gift to him, and I am sure that he will start contributing a few posts of his own once he knows that we have got this started. THANKS FOR HELPING TO KEEP THE SECRET!!!

Amy - work your magic, please!!!